k, so I’m watching the video, and seeing the refreshing of pain exposed by the road not taken and the paths travelled without aforethought of consequence. Granted, this is a blog, an internet journal for me to write and devulge to those that are so inclined to suscribe to…but at this moment I do not care who reads, or what their thoughts are, or for that matter if they even notice…I digress…
Three months of Hell. Yes. It was an experience. I was able to seed a good friendship.Yes. Enveloped myself in the pseudo-world of independance. Yes. Yet in the end, it has been Hell. I have missed my son’s birthday. I have missed my wifes birthday. I was not present when my oldest son was placed in the hospital for his infection, and I was not there when he was placed in the hospital for his illness. I did not get to take my boys out camping in the summer. I was not able to take my daughter and her friends to the mall, to watch her become a silly and precocious teen-ager. I was not there, when my wife need a shoulder of a friend or the caress of a lover. In the end, I was not there, and I cannot reclaim that time. For those of you that think you know pain, or sorrow, imagine sixteen years of marriage, sixteen birthdays of the woman you love, thirteen years of birthdays for your daughter, her first walk, her first reading of a book…her first I love you daddy. Imagine eleven years of birthdays of the same for your oldest son…et cetera, ad nausem for the rest of your children…and then imagine only seeing this through a looking glass…that is pain and sorrow.
I’m too tired to write anymore, I’ve been up all night.
~Dan
